Still Trying To Live Over Here!

 

Next thing you know, you wake up and think... where's the line? It keeps moving.

    We, as a society, have set rules to follow and they are typically clear and simple to follow for the majority of the people I know. But there are always those few that seem to bend them WHEN IT SUITS THEM. Po-tay-toe / Po-tah-toe? You know who and what I am talking about! The "Oh, I didn't see the sign that said ten items or less" peeps. The same ones that are first to point out when another person gets asked for their order before them at the split drivethrough lane rather than in an altenating fashion. Yeah, them!

    Well, imagine living beside one full time, locked in, mortgage bound! The one's that make your heart pacing increase as you near home incase you find something amiss. But then, at times, you remember not all neighbours are looking for the short-line, the entitled lane, the self-proclaimed 'evolved' perks. You do have other wonderful neighbours that bring a smile to your afternoon when you come home to find grass cuttings cascaded along your driveway lawn line, clueing you in that they have beaten you to mowing the yard yet again! You cheerfully text them a smiley emojii and grab your laptop case and head inside to make dinner. 

    Now back to our 'problem child', that hasn't grown up emotionally, that you need to deal with almost on the daily. The 'helicoptor neighbour' that thinks they know and ARE the best ("Can't help being more evolved!") ... yet, don't actually take responsibility for ANY of their decisions. You know, like erecting a fence just inside the property line down the shared driveway but don't clean or clear past the fence. Or, like, I dunno ... having a kid but never making them a priority so the child moves away by age 13. BUT, they do LOVE to 'claim' many things! Like, they are 'enlightened' because they meditate, do Yoga and Massage others for a living. They in fact are up on all of the magazine front cover LINGO (no actual actions though) at the grocery store checkout ... and claim that thinking as their own philosophy. They claim they take care of the nieghbourhood stray cat, although you end up being the one who actually feeds him and are concerned about his matted fur and growing lethargy. They boast that they single-handedly have 'survived' too many hardships to count ... but actually spend time digging for and relying on funds from the governement, the EX, illegally run Yoga classes, and inheritances. Oh, and if they ever look outside of themselves and offer commentary, all others have some sort of fault that they will point out using backhanded 'compliments' or straight up insults stated as facts. And, if you don't drink their koolaid, you will be branded with being the villain whom they must endure and their undying focused target.

    After that in-depth description I am sure you know exactly who I mean. So, back to our peaceful drive home from a long day of work...you round the corner hoping to see grass remenants ... But, you find Windy, waiting on the driveway, a frown ever-burnt into her botox filler-injected face. Your heart pounds and mind races. What the flip now???

    Scenerio One: You quickly hear, through her skreetching venomous vioce, that she blames you for her getting two newspapers on her side of the driveway. 

    Scenerio Two: You pull in and are unable to open your car door as your neighbour has opened her car door first and has it propped open, blocking your door from opening and you from exiting. Again, you are told via skreetchy slurs that you are to blame for something.

    Scenerio Three: You get out of your vehicle in a hurry, hoping to avoid another confrontation, and to get organised as a friend is on their way over... But, no chance. This is Windy, as we know. She actually asks to if we can talk (WHAT?) but when you explain you can't but will later ... that doesn't work for her. She begins skreetcching, swearing and following you up your steps. She stops when the glass door closes and leans in between curses, to KISS your front door! Umm, yup. Straight back to the juvenile you recognise.

     I could continue these scenerios but will spare anyone actually who may read this. I now return to scheduled focus ... things neighbours do for each other and how interpretations vary from level of sanity to level of whackjob! Remember the grass cuttings gently blowing from my yard to my driveway? Wonderful sight from my perspective! Now, swept debris from along a fenceline that Windy claims she can't clean due to staying off my property ... when I swept that to assure my driveway pavers didn't make an error in cutting down the property line, Police were called as I left a neat pile at the end of the fence before going to work at 7 am that morning. So, apparently, if I understand, I should have put it in a garden bag for my survivor neighbour? Fast forward...there is currently an actual police invesstigation about this! So, when I think about this ... when I come home and see grass blades on my driveway, in HER world, I should report my neighbours for mowing my lawn and NOT cleaning up and bagging the grass asnd disposing of it for me?! It isn't enough that they cut the grass!? To-may-toe / To-mah-toe!?